You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
