I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
