Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
