Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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