There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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