If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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