God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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