I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
