Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
