make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
