You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize