My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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