lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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