we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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