what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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