the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
