..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
