you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
