i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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