BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
