Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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