I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
