Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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