she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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