We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
