Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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