she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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