someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is the high leading the old right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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