i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
