I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize