I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
