Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize