even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bring money and cleavage
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
