Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
