I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
