There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Actions speak louder than pants.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize