Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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