The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
