I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
