nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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