Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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