I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
