Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
