Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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