You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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