So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
