Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
