Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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