i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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