Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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