so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We have started to decorate penises.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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