the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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