she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When are your genitals available?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
