Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
