I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
